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The Bad Fiction Graveyard
Where the dregs of fiction go to die
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8th-Mar-2009 09:19 pm - Open letter to all skilled writers!
Tyn Censored
The Protectors of the Plot Continuum are understaffed in several fandoms.  If this is of interest to you, feel free to poke your nose in over at their messageboard.
Tyn Censored
Disclaimer:  Farseer Lolotea is not directly responsible for anyone getting sucked into the massive quicksand bog that is TVTropes!

So you've time-displaced your latest Sue—by way of deus angst machina—so that she may find Twu Wuv with the inevitable large shiny paladin.  (Who just so happens to be spawn of your previous Sue and a very unlikely canon character...but we're not going there.)  Her previous status as Badass Paladin with Badass Sobriquet is shuffled under the rug, in favor of a shotgun marriage and what appears to be a cushy new lifestyle.  (Are Action Moms not allowed in the Warcraft Universe or something?)

But, you know what?  Fine.  At this point, I've basically stopped caring what you do with your Sues.  I only ask that you stop butchering the setting's official continuity already.  (Hopefully, after that whole saga, you've gotten lore-abuse out of your system.  I, for one, will not be holding my breath.)

However, that's not even what I'm getting at.  Remember when one of your more tolerable fics got sporked on a certain Mary Sue community?  How about that tantrum that you threw?  Or how you told us that we could critique your work when we could do better?

Long story short:  You brought that derivative work upon yourself.  Deleting it from that forum (who, exactly, did you have to kill to get mod privileges anyway?) was petty of you, to say the least.  And have you noticed that the people who are defending you the most zealously are the same people who are outright flaming the derivative piece's author—occasionally, in language that I'm surprised got past the filter?  Very telling.

Seriously.  If writing fan fiction is really as low on your priority list as you claim, I've got a simple solution for you:  Stop.  Or at least, stop putting it up on Teh Intarwebz for all to see.  Not everyone is guaranteed to adore it, and you're not entitled to adoration.  Especially if you can't be bothered to put any real effort into it. 

In closing:  I'm not going to say that any given one of your Sues is the Jenna Silverblade of Warcraft (although your damn purple-eyed death knight comes pretty close).  You, however, seem to be making an effort to become the Link's Queen of the fandom.
Tyn Censored
When I read the beginning of your newest sesquipedalian yarn, I thought maybe you might just have learned from your previous mistakes.  Sure, your newest protagonist was just a bit sparklier than necessary...but it seemed like you'd toned it down.

I should have known that was too much to hope for.

Yes, your heroine usually goes by her rather bland nickname.  Yes, she initially Fails At Paladin.  And yes, she describes herself as tall and rawboned and plain. 

However, she acquires a Kewl Skar very early in the story.  She abruptly stops Failing At Paladin after a crisis point (and she was Succeeding At Warrior and Succeeding At Scholar all along...so we already knew it was only a matter of time).  If that wasn't a nickname, she'd be named after a flower...and once she stops Failing At Paladin, she quickly acquires a badass sobriquet to go with her Kewl Skar.  And as for her supposed plainness...there's little doubt, in at least my mind, that she's going to turn out to be Suetiful All Along.

Hell...when she finally summons her charger, he's speshul.  Now, I understand that you may find it odd that I'm calling her charger "speshul," considering he's "ugly."  But making him heavy-boned and shaggy and dapple gray—after you've established that paladins' chargers are sleek and refined and white—makes "ugly" into shorthand for "unusual and speshul."

On top of all this...her personality is basically interchangeable with that of your DeathKnight!Sue.  Who started out as a paladin herself, as I recall.  You've basically taken the same character and traded some of her Sue traits in for (strictly superficial) anti-Sue ones.  Add that to the fact that the same canon characters crop up in the supporting cast of both stories, and that recent events make it appear that Scourge Happens to this paladin...I'm wondering why you even bothered to come up with two different storylines.

P.S.:  You're obsessed with paladins.
Tyn Censored
The Lich King is not going to miraculously become human/alive/a nice guy again and settle down with your Mary Sue—incognito or otherwise.  Among other things, that would completely derail the current timeline in WoW.  Your Sue being a death knight—and one who never had to do all of those bad, bad things that death knights do—is worth bonus Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot points.

And if you didn't throw such hissy fits at even relatively mild critique, I'd just be saying as much on your forum.  But as it just so happens, you seem to take it as a personal attack if someone gives you anything less than glowing praise—much less calls you on writing Mary Sues or purple prose.  So...there you have it.
Tyn Censored
Dear Gargoyles fan author:

I'm sure you love Brooklyn.  I'm sure you're very, very angry with Angela for not loving him as much as you do.  However...

First of all, gargoyles are not sexist.  A female gargoyle's status is in no way dependent on that of her mate.  (Demona, along with being Goliath's mate, was his second-in-command before she went bad, remember?  And Turquesa is Zafiro's second, but not his mate.)  If something were to happen to her dad, Angela would have just as much of a chance as Broadway or Lex of becoming second-in-command. 

Long story short?  Brooklyn's mate would not automatically "outrank" Angela.

Gargoyles are also not that status-conscious.  Yes, the clans have leaders...but that position is more one of responsibility than one of privilege. 

Angela is not a spoiled, scheming, power-hungry brat.  It's especially egregious that you accuse Goliath of spoiling her:  Due to the way that gargoyles raise their kids, he had a hard time even acknowledging her as his daughter in more than an abstract fashion.  She's also not psychotically paranoid.  "Out of character" doesn't begin to cover what you've done to her.

Your original character...well.  Dazzling beauty?  Check.  Luminous eyes of an unusual color?  Check.  Multicolored hair?  Check.  Pointlessly exotic and evocative name?  Check.  Kewl powerz?  Check.  Adored from the get-go by every character you like, detested from the get-go by those you don't?  Check.  That about sums it up.

If your Mary Sue struts onto the scene and starts snubbing Angela, the remainder of the clan is not going to take it well—even if they did adore your Sue from the get-go.  And if Angela takes offense at being snubbed, they're not going to wonder what the hell is wrong with her...or presume that she's "just jealous."

And it seems your Sue can shape-shift, too.  Hence a rather...squicktastic scene shortly after she's introduced.  But I won't go into that; what I wonder is why she took on human (rather than gargoyle) form to impress Brooklyn.

Please don't write any more fan fiction until you've read the GargWiki, in-depth.  No...forget that qualifier.
Tyn Censored
Pull up a chair and a piece of bad fiction (or a particularly messy wank about bad fiction).  Spork it or just gripe about it to your heart's content.  Repeat as necessary.

In case anyone didn't get the idea yet...I'll be posting some old ones of my own here, just to give an example.

Posts are members-only by default at the moment.  This may change at a later date.
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